Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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