that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
