1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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