I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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