Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
