i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
