If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
