his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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