My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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