Even the bartender felt bad for me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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