Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
