we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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