omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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