We're like a lot better than the average bears
another moral hangover. fuck.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
