Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
