He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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