A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
