last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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