All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize