she smelled like a LAN party
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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