So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
