dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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