Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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