I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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