he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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