I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You work out of a Hotel?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
