and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
