he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
