last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize