Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
