remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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