I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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