Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
