And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nicole vs. Life
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
