Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.