he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night