I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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