Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
