i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize