I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
