Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
