Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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  (517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house. http://tfl.nu/y6v5
  Replies (9) Good night (881) Bad night (534)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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  (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp
  Replies (16) Good night (2695) Bad night (528)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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  (603): thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful! http://tfl.nu/mwds
  Replies (60) Good night (3351) Bad night (7757)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.

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  (479): She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink. http://tfl.nu/g05p
  Replies (90) Good night (2475) Bad night (3938)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8672) Bad night (921)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

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  (319): I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online http://tfl.nu/tzby
  Replies (13) Good night (5439) Bad night (850)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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  (206): I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick. http://tfl.nu/yyxj
  Replies (8) Good night (1213) Bad night (3903)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

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  (+44): i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me http://tfl.nu/srm7
  Replies (9) Good night (948) Bad night (2991)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.

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  (480): I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level. http://tfl.nu/m64o
  Replies (5) Good night (2886) Bad night (484)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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  (321): I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see. http://tfl.nu/2cw0
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (417)
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  (716): View more from New York

  There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.

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  (716): There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now. http://tfl.nu/bttm
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (939)
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  (714): View more from California

  Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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  (714): Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus? http://tfl.nu/oxq8
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (377)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

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  (913): I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/ml02
  Replies (4) Good night (532) Bad night (247)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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  (917): She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them http://tfl.nu/qyhd
  Replies (13) Good night (311) Bad night (629)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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  (602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx
  Replies (9) Good night (1103) Bad night (262)

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