So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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