Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
