i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.