i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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