Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Be still, my beating vagina.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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