theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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