i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
