Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
