She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize