no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
