Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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