that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
