we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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