I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
