I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
