So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?