My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also, beer. Big fan.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.