This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.