About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.