At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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