YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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